why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
