They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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