ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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