I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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