Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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