How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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