that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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