If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
