apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
