gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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