Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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