i would punch a child for taco bell
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
