I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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