every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
