Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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