so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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