I wish I could teleport
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
honey bunches of taint.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
