I'm really into asian looking animals
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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