Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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