we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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