Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel