the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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