I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
