She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
