I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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