she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
