I look better un-naked...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
