are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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