Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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