it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
