And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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