Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
