He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
