what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
