does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we're making bets on your personal life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
