Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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