Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
