Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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