he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.