I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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