By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
