you have to choose: penises or morals?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
