Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
