There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
