But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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