he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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