I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
