We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize