I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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