I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
