I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
