took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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