Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
