I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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