I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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