I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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