The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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