who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
