I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
