just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
