I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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