she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
