Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize