im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
