friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
